A propos of nothing, I learned today what could be considered not earth shattering but pretty good trivia at a party amongst middle-age folks that is not going well.
Bracez toi-meme. The Green Hornet’s name is Britt Reid (Bruce Lee said he got the role of Kato because he was the only Asian in California who could say the name). The real name of the Lone Ranger was, well, the last name was, yes, Reid—his first name was thought to be John but, for obvious reasons, he kept his identity under wraps.
Either way, it turns out the Green Hornet is actually the Lone Ranger’s nephew Dan’s son, making the Green Hornet the Lone Ranger’s great-nephew.
I AM NOT KIDDING.
In other words, don’t worry, you will be safe tonight.
They may even be related somehow to my friend Morgan, whose last name is also Reid. But maybe not. I’ll ask.
It also turns out that Tonto and Kato once spent a Labour Day weekend together without ever disclosing the reason(s). This stayed under wraps until Robin the Boy Wonder (of Batman and Robin fame) spilled the beans and insinuated something of a ‘romantic nature’ to the weekend at a drunken pub crawl in 1966, which led to the stand-off on the Batman series between the Green Hornet and Kato and Batman and Robin (Batman’s Satisfaction, 1967).
Okay, I made those last two sentences up. It wasn’t the Labour Day weekend at all. Thanksgiving. Long Island.
But I will say this, in the Batman show from 1966, had Kato (Bruce Lee) been left to his own devices, and not held to a script, Robin (Burt Ward) would have had his ass seriously kicked.
Notice the startling genetic similarities, including the dark markings around the eyes of both ‘Hornet’ and ‘Ranger’ (above and below), the technicolor film style (above and below), the steely determination (above and below) and the undeniable look of constipation on both faces (above and below).
The Gang of Four: Kato—the only really super human—on the far left, wishing he could punch Robin’s face in.
If you need a reference for a job at the Justice League of America, call me. I’m pretty good friends with Aqua Man’s brother.